Hi, we just got a cavapoo puppy. we have a 7 year old dog who is not taking too well to this idea. It has been over 1 week now and our old sweetie hardly comes out to eat or visit with us. He shakes when the puppy is around. He seems very frightened. Anyone else experience this? we are desperate.

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Hi Laurie,
I'm sorry that bringing home your puppy has caused the issue with your older dog.
How does he react to the puppy on neutral territory?

Are there any instances where he does not display frightened or highly anxious behaviour?
Hi, we haven't been on neutral territory as of yet as the puppy has a couple of parasites and I can't bring him out of the house yet.

The only time my older dog is ok is if he is up on the couch or my bed when the puppy cannot get at him.

This is so sad. I just don't know what to do.

Thanks for your response!!!
I can imagine it is an upsetting situation for you to be in. When we bring home our puppy at the end of January, my cat will be equally put-out but with persistence she will settle (as she does when we dog-sit for my parents).

There are so many questions to ask, I'm sorry.
Has your older dog ever had any run-ins with smaller dogs? (my mum's dog is terrified of small dogs because she was attacked by one on the beach one day).

I think, once your puppy is rid of the parasites, taking them to neutral territory and seeing how they go together might be a good option. Is there any way that, for now, you can create some barriers between them? Like keeping the puppy sectioned in one half of the house and your older dog in the other. Using baby gates or something?

I would be worried if your older dog continues to not eat or interact with you, and I would be looking to minimise the effect of having a new puppy in the house. You may need to consult with a vet or a dog-expert. Are you going to take the pup to puppy-classes? Even attending one might give you access to an expert who could give you some idea why your older dog has responded in this way.

I am by no means a dog expert, but my first course of action would be minimise the anxiety in the dog who was already a member of the household, and until I could seek professional advice I think I would try to separate them into their own individual areas until I knew how to proceed.

I know this isn't helpful, and I'm sorry for that. I wish I could offer more.
I did meet with my vet and she is also concerned about my older dog. He was in fact attacked by a pit bull 3 years ago while we were on a walk. It was a very frightening experience, but I thought that 3 years later he would be ok with another dog. My vet says that sometimes these things stay with dogs the rest of their lives. My older guy walks around the house all night and cannot settle down in one place to sleep even though the puppy is crated. I feel so terrible, I have made such a big mistake and he shouldn't have to suffer like this. I know that not keeping the puppy is horrible, but my older dog has been with us for over 7 years and I can't do this to him.....
Hi Laurie,
I personally don't think that not keeping the puppy is horrible. You're obviously not a person who brings an animal home and then discards it, people like that don't have an animal for 7 years.

What did your vet recommend? Did s/he say that rehoming the puppy was perhaps your best option?

I don't suppose you might consult a pet psychologist?
One of my friends was given a puppy from a 'nice lady' by her father. Turns out she'd been terribly abused and neglected and she is truly traumatised by the experience. They've had her for 5 years and nothing helped more than taking her to a pet psychologist. The dog still has massive issues and is untrainable because she is still too scared to take food from hands, but she has learned to trust and accept her owners as 'safe' members of her pack.

I'd hate to see you have to part with your new puppy. This is a time that should be exciting and rewarding for everyone involved. Having said that, I think you're right to put the needs of your older dog first. It's not going to be an easy decision for you to make unfortunately, and no-one will be able to help you make it. I'm sure you'll do the right thing for your family, whatever that may be.

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